Thursday, 28 July 2011

Ed Miliband's nose

What is to be done?

What a relief now that we've been told - 'as research has shown the sound of a voice is worth more votes to politicians than the content of their speeches ...' (Patrick Wintour Guardian front page July 28th 2011) whose research and where was it published? Leaving that aside.

In case you missed the world shattering front page news that Ed Miliband (the leader of the Labour Party in the UK) has had a one hour operation to cure his sleep apnoea and that his voice is just the same. Whoopee! Leaving that aside.

First question: are his ideas just the same? Leaving that aside.

So ... what the politicos say is not as important as the quality of their voices - really? Who does this include? Hitler, Stalin, Reagan, the Bushes (Snr & Jnr), Thatcher, Blair? I must say it's a huge relief to now understand how the world works.

Let me try a little research of my own - I want you to imagine my voice - okay - ready? Gentle but firm. Urbane but not supercilious. Warm but not fawning. Entrancing but not mesmeric. Knowing but not pompous. Confident but not overbearing. Certain but not somehow - how can my voice put it? ever so slightly uncertain. Conclusive but not intolerant. Inclusive but not sycophantic. Statesmanlike - no - that's wrong - statespersonlike - and yet of the common (sic) people. Democratic but realistic.

Can you hear me. Is the sound of my voice fixed in your mind? Okay now listen to the content of what I have to say to you as, well, one of the governed, one of those who don't give a jot for content just the mellifluous meanderings of our rulers (sic).

Wnmnh dhjuoen afge lpi and eth! Fiuiuien lqofn nmyuns . nn giggsm. Yes, jgjge nnmsihr nnt ns n.

Thank you. I'm expecting your vote at the next election.

What is to be done?

No comments:

Post a Comment